I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
