Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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