YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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