Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(234): View more from Ohio

Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey

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(234): Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey http://tfl.nu/njnw

Replies (1) Good night (1371) Bad night (576)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF

(973): View more from New Jersey

children are so perceptive these days... and horny

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(862): 5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF (973): children are so perceptive these days... and horny http://tfl.nu/81nd

Replies (32) Good night (2378) Bad night (714)
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(631): View more from New York

Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

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(631): Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out? http://tfl.nu/nikk

Replies (87) Good night (677) Bad night (5839)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Why are we friends again?

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(973): New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out.. (1-973): Why are we friends again? http://tfl.nu/4ygf

Replies (38) Good night (977) Bad night (3110)
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(917): View more from New York City

My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".

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(917): My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva". http://tfl.nu/2q86

Replies (25) Good night (4751) Bad night (1792)
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(305): View more from Florida

just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins

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(305): just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins http://tfl.nu/ypgx

Replies (27) Good night (3808) Bad night (877)
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(817): View more from Texas

besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer

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(817): besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer http://tfl.nu/fbgv

Replies (7) Good night (1952) Bad night (904)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

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(502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0

Replies (6) Good night (4221) Bad night (1253)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

That's some true roommate bonding right there.

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(847): Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time. (414): That's some true roommate bonding right there. http://tfl.nu/wbl4

Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (864)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?

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(614): Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me? http://tfl.nu/bgzy

Replies (9) Good night (515) Bad night (1367)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.

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(608): Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/o18n

Replies (6) Good night (868) Bad night (274)
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(309): View more from Illinois

my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"

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(309): my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school" http://tfl.nu/0p2q

Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (717)
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(571): View more from Virginia

A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place

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(571): A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place http://tfl.nu/vals

Replies (5) Good night (1244) Bad night (261)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

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(613): Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived. http://tfl.nu/meie

Replies (5) Good night (1372) Bad night (249)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.

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(919): We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad. http://tfl.nu/qk8s

Replies (6) Good night (1696) Bad night (241)

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