Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.

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  (413): i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing. http://tfl.nu/huj4
  Replies (17) Good night (990) Bad night (2461)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1769) Bad night (8852)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

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  (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by. http://tfl.nu/jzor
  Replies (49) Good night (1194) Bad night (5013)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
  Replies (15) Good night (6271) Bad night (912)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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  (516): Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning. http://tfl.nu/lzds
  Replies (15) Good night (834) Bad night (5407)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.

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  (508): After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well. http://tfl.nu/5wox
  Replies (11) Good night (3580) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

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  (435): When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics http://tfl.nu/17q6
  Replies (13) Good night (4009) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere

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  (740): Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere http://tfl.nu/0hmj
  Replies (38) Good night (4374) Bad night (4631)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy

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  (651): I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy http://tfl.nu/d161
  Replies (18) Good night (2352) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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  (914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

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  (207): I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me. http://tfl.nu/zr5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1526) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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  (937): Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/4hwq
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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  (954): aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection http://tfl.nu/vqm1
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Sex is clearly the solution either way.

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  (608): Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored. (1-608): Sex is clearly the solution either way. http://tfl.nu/07hm
  Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!

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  (708): I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped! http://tfl.nu/5pnp
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (330)

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