She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
