Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
