cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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