and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
