He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My dick has a subreddit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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