I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
