Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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