Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
