i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
