I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
