Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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