I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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