If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
