I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
