he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
