I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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