I smell stomach acid.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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