i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
