yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
