the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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