we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
