I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
