so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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