This is not my ceiling
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
