You work out of a Hotel?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
