I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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