I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
