I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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