Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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