We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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