Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize