My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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