Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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