Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
