I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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