I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
