Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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