we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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