i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
