the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
