If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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