Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize