did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
