I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My bed smells like the plague
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