I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
