Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize