I want to stick my p in your. b.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You ruined the universe
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
