How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
