Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
