im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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