Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
