like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
