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Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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