We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
