dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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