I'm gonna have a badass scar
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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