Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize