Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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