babies were throwing up all over the place
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
