My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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